Words and photography by Sian Irvine
UV knows some amazing people, and I am lucky enough to have known the amazing Tori since school days. Her journey into fitness turned into a journey to self love, so I sat down with her to discuss this, life, and everything that comes with it.
For those who don’t know you, can you tell us a little about yourself?
(laughs) Ummmmm……..I always find this the hardest question to answer!
It’s like when someone asks ‘what do you do for a job’ I’m like… stuff? I’m a professional stuff-er… (laughs) Um……okay, I’m Tori- I guess is a good place to start…
A very good place to start.
I don’t really do too well with titles… so I would say I’m free spirited, I am a fitness enthusiast…..no, health and wellbeing enthusiast…
I like that
And…. promoter? No, I don’t like that. Influencer? I don’t like that.
Wait a minute… the word is on the tip of my tongue… Advocate.
Advocate. That’s the word! High five! I’m a health and wellbeing advocate that loves nothing more than food, music, good people and laughing.
That’s me, basically.
Your journey into self love and fitness seem to go hand in hand… can you tell us a little about that?
For me, I had been through bullying as a kid, then I ended up in a very toxic relationship. My self esteem was pretty much non-existent, i hated every single thing about me. I remember one birthday…it was kind of a pivotal point, my mum had done a surprise meal for me, my partner at the time, my cousin, his wife and my parents- because it’s my dads birthday on the same day. I was sitting there, everyone was cracking jokes and laughing, everyone was having a nice time… and i remember going upstairs and just crying. And I felt so ungrateful- they’d done this lovely meal for me, and I just felt I had nothing to add to the conversation… nothing. I was like ‘I’m not funny, I’m not intelligent, it would make no difference if I wasn’t here’. That’s where I was at in my mind.
I was literally like, what is the point, what is my point in life? and it got worse from there… I got really really low… but somehow, later on that year, I came out of the relationship, I took myself to LA, I didn’t know anyone…
You stayed for 3 or 4 months, no?
At this point it was only ten days… The initial time was ten days, I had been through so much i just thought ‘I need some space for ME’… and I met some super dope people. But still, this wasn’t really the start of the journey! This was the end of the previous one. And the following year, I went back out to see the girls i’d made friends with, and this time we went to Vegas, i’d never been there before, and we went for 2 nights because one of my girls friends was a backing dancer for Selena Gomez…
Oh my god!! Amazing!
Right! So we went, it was a really good night, we went to a club afterwards, and the next day we were driving back to LA, and we were playing a quick fire game- so answering questions with the first thing that comes into your head- what makes you happy? what would you enjoy doing on a sunday? Things like that. But then it started getting deeper, so the question I got asked was ‘what do you like most about yourself?’- someone actually asked me this the other day, I’m still getting there- but anyway, it was in regards to me as a person, and also physicality. And… I had bugger all to say. Absolutely nothing. i was racking my brain, and it got to- probably only about 5 minutes, but it felt like half an hour- of silence, they really wanted me to come up with something. So I remember sitting there, thinking ‘I dislike this, i dislike this, I’m insecure about this, this is shit about me’- that was everything I could think of! I remember the girls being like ‘yo, you need to figure your shit OUTTT!!! How can you hate on yourself so much?’ And these other girls, I was so in awe of them- I hadn’t realised how in awe I was until the days leading up to this. There was this one girl, her name was Kamale, beautiful black girl, shaved head, no fucks given, just- her. Her aura was incredible. And she would go up to people and say ‘yo, you’re BEAUTIFUL!’ And at the time I was like ‘wow, that’s confident!’ But now- that’s me! I do that! I go up to anyone and tell them I think they’re beautiful. And the funny thing is, the amount of compliments she got in return- not just in reply to what she had said, but people being like ‘you have such an amazing energy about you’, or ‘you have something so beautiful about you that I can’t quite place’. That’s when I peeped it- beauty is so much more. It was more of an observation piece, because I was so insecure about myself. For example, at the time I would get a lot of ingrown hairs on my legs so i would get scars. But then, my friend would have the same thing- but I’d never look at hers. She was so confident, and it was only then I realised- your confidence is what makes you so sexy. The reason these girls are getting so much attention is because they are so comfortable in themselves. It’s not about having the most perfect of everything, it’s just about being good with yourself. So, then that journey progressed- and I guess it was more a case of the more that i unlearned and reconditioned wiithin myself, the more I started to appreciate myself. Then, it becomes a snowball- when you start recognising those few little bits that you like, then other people are like ‘yo- you’re beautiful!’ For me, I found it a lot with writing- so many people were like ‘I love the way you write!’, and that gave me so much more confidence- because I was never a writer! It made me realise that there is stuff that I’m good at.
And it’s something that just came free flowing out of you?
Yeah! I didn’t judge myself on it- I just used to write Instagram captions, and I wanted it to have a bit more purpose than a picture, so I started writing. And that instilled confidence, and all of a sudden there was so many other things too, and now it’s a case of when someone asks me ‘what do you do?’ I do so many different things! Because I can!
Before I never would, you know? Whereas now I’m like, ‘I love myself enough to at least give it a try’.
And to be able to confidently say that- because oftentimes, people say to me ‘what do you do?’, and I’m like ‘well, you know, I’m a teacher, but I also run a blog, and I also do photography…’ and I’m kinda like… almost making excuses for it.
And that’s the thing. We box ourselves so much into titles, it’s the same with jobs- I hate filling out a form when it’s like ‘what’s your job title?’ I don’t want a job title! Thing is- I paint, right? So I’m going to call myself an artist! I train people- okay, so I’m a coach. I compete- does that make me an athlete? I could give myself a thousand titles! And I do them all, and I enjoy doing them all, and I don’t just want to do one.
So you spoke a little bit there about our spiritual wellbeing, and fitness and stuff- so why do you think it’s so important for us as women- well, I wrote women, we can talk about women, we can talk about people in general- why do you think its so important for us to stay healthy in the body and the mind?
Okay, so this is actually a topic that I’m really into talking about at the moment. So I’m going to talk about myself, and I’m going to speak generally as well. So… in regards to myself, working out is more of a hindsight learn. When I started working out, i did it because I wanted to have something. When I started going to the gym not many girls did, so it was like ‘Oh that Tori girl who goes to the gym’. So I had something that was finally my identity. But as time went on, the gym was my form of meditation. I couldn’t just sit there and zone out of my thoughts consciously, but unconsciously I could. Me going to the gym and picking up weights- whenever I was in a mood, I’d go to the gym and come out feeling so lifted, I’d have so much clarity without even thinking about anything. And it had a knock on effect- the more you move, the better you feel- the more energy you have, you feel more productive and end up being more productive. So that’s in regards to exercise, but in regards to food I’ve had a massive journey as well. When I first started competing, I was ‘healthy’…I was not healthy at all. I ate healthy foods when I was prepping in the regard that I wasn’t eating junk, but then as soon as I finished competing- I remember it came to a pivotal point in 2015, I had gone Keto for 20 weeks so literally only eating salmon, steak, veggies and eggs every day, and that was pretty much it. So I finished my competition, and it was my friends hen do in Ibiza… imagine I didn’t make it to one club.
Yeah, coz I was going to Pizza Hut, Burger King, and then I’d get dessert. And I did that for the whole time we were there- 3 nights. All I cared about was food.
Do you know how refreshing it is to hear someone speak candidly like this?
So then I realised, okay, I suppressed myself so much for such a long time, and then I go through these periods where it feels like food is going to run out. Or I would never get the chance to eat again. And i never got full- I still don’t. I could eat consistently, and not get full. And even if I was full, I’d carry on- because I enjoy it. But then I got to a point where I was like ‘nah, this isn’t right’, I was getting sluggish, I was sleeping all the time, I wasn’t as confident in my body- not because it looked bad, but because I wasn’t treating it right. And I think that’s the more subconscious thing- the only thing I get scared of with the body positivity movement is that there are so many parts to it that need to be addressed. Because it’s not a case of whatever body you have, enjoy it- whatever body you’re looking after, enjoy it. Do you know what I mean? Because I can now confidently say, I love myself enough to treat my body right. I want to feed my body good food, because it deserves it. It goes through so much shit- so much that we don’t even know about- it’s like parents. It just deals. It fights off illnesses, it fights off disease, it does whatever it needs to do, and I just took it for granted. That’s my souls home- I don’t want it to be messy. I want to live a long time! I used to think, when my grandkids are around I’d be good to go at like 70 or whatever, But now- I’ve given myself 122. That’s my number. I don’t see why I can’t. And now I’ve got to this point where food gives me so much life- and, I won’t go too far down a rabbit hole but I am a bit of a conspiracist. And I do believe that a lot of the food we are exposed to has been modified to dumb us down. Poison us and dumb us down. I think it’s becoming more and more apparent now as well. If you are going to eat meat- eat organic meat. The problem is we have become so greedy, that we don’t actually care about the quality any more. A lot of people would say ‘but I can’t afford to buy organic/free range meat’…okay, so don’t buy as much of it. You don’t need to have it every single meal of the day, just like we don’t need something sweet after every meal. There’s all these weird things that are programmed in us, that are so normalised, but when you think about it it’s very abnormal. It’s just thinking about what you’re putting in your body and why you’re doing it. Aesthetics will make us feel good, and people will have different preferences on what they like in that regard, but it’s the inside… your health, how functional you are. Are you going to be able to run around with your grandkids? Are you going to be able to run around with your friends kids, right now? It’s just being able to feel good and know that you’re body is doing what it’s meant to do. You do get to a point as well, where- like, I remember at first… the sugar cravings… they were so hard. Because I remember, I went through once point where I would have cookies and ice cream every night. Easy. Because it’s something you enjoy doing, it’s a comfort thing. And- I will still eat cookies and ice cream, but I don’t crave it any more. And so, I’m now at a point where it’s like, ‘you know what? Yeah I’ll have the cookies and ice cream’ and I will feel no guilt. And that is the most empowering feeling- when you no longer have any guilt attached to any food. It makes a huge difference.
Was there a eureka moment in your journey to self love?
Um, yeah. LA was definitely the biggest eureka moment. The mad thing is, I’d actually been competing before that as well.
For nearly 2 years! And I remember- my first comp, when I first had abs, I’d been with my partner at that point for nearly 7 years, and I’d still get changed in the other room. I was so self conscious. All competitions, I never felt good enough. I never felt that great. And that kind of installed the awareness… I’m trying to think if there was a more pivotal point? I think it was more of a slow grower, and there’s been times where it’s excelled more than others.
That’s probably a better way, as with all things, if something is done in a snap moment- how much can it really stay?
And thats the thing- the biggest problem is, that people think they just need to change their thinking, and it’s going to happen overnight. And it’s not. But the first thing is being aware that you want to change the way of thinking. And then it’s a correction process. I’m still very aware of this now, I’m very conscious of words that I use. I don’t like using, for example, the word jealous. I won’t use it, because I see it as negative terminology. If I’m jealous of someone, i’m unhappy that they’ve got something. I can be in awe of them, or inspired by them, but I’m never jealous of them, I’m happy for them.
Like you can shine, I can shine.
Exactly! Exactly. But that’s even been a correctional process. And, the more I caught myself saying ‘jealous’, or feeling ‘jealous’, I was like ‘oh- hold up. Lets switch it up’. The same with being scared- often, scared is so close to excitement. The two are actually almost the same feeling, you know… that heart rush… sometimes it’s just a case of just putting a new title, coming back to titles. Re-titling how you feel, and it switches your perspective entirely.
I’ve never thought about it like that before. And I am going to start.
Honestly, when I started thinking about it… there’s this whole thing about positivity, and being positive all the time… it’s not about being positive all the time, that’s the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever heard in my life. Then people get more and more depressed because they can’t be positive, but the fact is- be positive over the negatives. I am so grateful for all the bullshit. And I’m ready for more, because it made me who I am today and i’m proud of who I am. I am proud of everything that I’ve been through. I’m proud that I now have the empathy to be able to empathise with other people, who are going through similar things. Because if I hadn’t had certain experiences, there’s certain people that I couldn’t have helped, or have influence over. You just get to a point where its like, ‘okay cool’. And the less you stress over the bullshit, you just kind of keep it moving.
So, with the talk of changing words… not jealous but inspired. Who inspires you?
Oh! Who inspires me? I always find it a really difficult one to answer because there are so many different people who inspire me on different things. But do you know what- and I’ll explain why- my biggest inspiration is myself. I started studying neurolinguistic programming, right? And one of the things it was saying was: think about the person you are most inspired by…
Can I just stop you… what is neurolinguistic programming?
It’s basically a reprogramming of the mind. They use it in life coaching- NLP. It’s about reprogramming your thoughts. So one of the things it was saying was ‘think about the person who inspires you most’, and at the time it was one of my best friends, a guy called Corey, who had done so well in his business. He literally came out of the hood, and he’s now one of the biggest trainers in the USA. He was my person. So it was then, ‘what is it about this person that inspires you?’, and for me, it was his self belief. I loved how confident he is in his abilities. He would literally speak things into existence! And I find this with a lot of successful men that I know- they don’t have fears. They don’t think they are better than other people, but they know their abilities. They know they can do it. And it’s in a humble way, it’s self assurance. It’s completely different to- you know, confidence is different to cockiness, do you know what I mean? So I was so in awe of him over this, because he actually makes shit happen because he is so sure of what he can accomplish. And if he doesn’t? He just carries on. And- then what neurolinguistic programming taught me was that- anything that inspires you from someone else, anything that you can see in somebody else, the only reason you can see it is because you possess it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t know it existed. It would not be in your vision. Everything we have felt- everything, we have to have experienced it inside. So then I realised- ‘oh my god, this is something I actually possess’. And that was a game changer.
Amazing. Amazing! I love that. It’s so cool. Okay, so- what advice do you have for those who are struggling with self love?
Mmmm. First off- it’s okay. It’s okay to struggle with it in the first place, and if anything, embrace the struggle- because it actually gets to the point where if you don’t have that struggle, and if you don’t experience it fully and feel it, then you’re not going to come through it. It’s good to acknowledge it, there’s so many people out there who don’t struggle with self love, but don’t have it either. So if you’re in that struggle state, know that you’re going to come out of it. And I think it’s a case of cutting yourself some slack, that’s the biggest thing, knowing you’re not going to make those changes overnight- I couldn’t even tell you…people often say to me ‘how did you get to this place? Because I saw you a couple of years ago and you were a whole different person!’ and it’s like, I can’t really tell you. There is no cookie-cutter way of doing it, everybody’s journey is different. And I’m going to talk about perceptions quickly. I wrote a post about this the other day. Because, we are so quick to judge ourselves and to put ourselves down, think we aren’t good enough, or whatever it is. The fact is- it’s actually fucking irrelevant! In regards to how other people perceive you, they only perceive you at their own level anyway, so if someone is only perceiving certain traits, it’s only because they recognise it in themselves. I might just read it, because I feel like I’ve worded it better. So here we go: ‘Perceptions. We’ve fallen into the trap of picking out faults with ourselves constantly- noticing those pimples, the blemish, the wrinkles or the grey, the slightly large nose, or the smaller than Kylie Jenner lips, taking more than one picture until we’re happy with the angle. But, the fact is, our perception of what beauty looks like on ourselves is irrelevant- everyone on this planet is attracted to something different, because we all perceive things differently. Fact! Because we have all had different life experiences, whatever. That’s where ‘beauty in the eye of the beholder’ comes from, but the fundamentals of what beauty is, is perceived the same. If something, or someone stands out to you, and appears brighter or more vivid than another, that your eyes are drawn to and intrigues your senses, it’s a characteristic that provides perpetual experience of pleasure or satisfaction.’ So that’s the whole thing with regards to confidence and how it can light up a room. The prettiest girl can walk in a room, but if she’s timid you don’t get drawn to her. There are so many girls that I’ll look at later in the day after being in a room with them, and I’m like ‘yo, she’s so pretty- but I didn’t notice her’. And there will be another girl, who maybe isn’t conventionally pretty, but she is so attractive because she is so comfortable with who she is. She doesn’t give a shit. ‘Beauty is often distorted, misunderstood, and shadowed by a wide amount of conflicting pressures. It is something we endlessly strive for, rather than see it shine strongest in our happiest, most carefree moments’- which is always, if you’ve had a partner or even friends… what do you enjoy, where do you see beauty in someone else? When they are laughing. When they are enjoying themselves.
You’re so right. I remember one time I was out at the Oakford, and this was with my friend Dannielle, and… I was sat on a table- I was really drunk, and I was surrounded by my friends, and she just started taking pictures of me. And I was like, ‘what are you doing?’ and she said ‘you just look so happy… you just look so happy and I just wanted to capture that moment’…
And it glows! And that’s the thing, that’s what is attractive. If someone is just able to be who they are, authentically, that’s what people are drawn to.
And I think that being able to recognise that is also a really nice thing.
That’s the thing- we all need to take it upon ourselves to bring that out in other people as well. Like, as your friend did with you, pointing out ‘yo, you’re glowing! You’re so happy!’ because it makes someone feel even happier! So… here’s my advice: take a moment to actively stop judging yourself, because visually it’s only your perception. Take the time to focus on who you are, appreciate all that you bring, and put the effort in to radiate your unique beauty, inside and out. It’s something I’ve been working on myself for a while- I needed to learn to love and be comfortable with my natural self as much as my enhanced self. One method I put into practise was to wear less makeup. I have no problem with wearing makeup either, I’m fully down for putting on a full face, but it’s just to know your beauty can shine through regardless. Also, banishing negative self talk when it creeps in, because I think that’s the biggest thing and we all do it. Sometimes when I look in the mirror and I think I look like shit, not much sleep or it’s that time of the month, you start getting spots or whatever… it’s cool. Exactly the same as how we take photos, and we take a thousand to get the right angle, people see us from so many different angles, 24/7. We can’t perceive what other people are perceiving. I’ve never seen myself. Ever. I’ve never looked at myself, apart from in a mirror. And it’s just a perception. Also, to praise yourself for the beauty that you hold within. Knowing that, you know what? The people around me are around me for a reason. I’m a good person to be around. Then the couple of things you start noticing that you like about yourself, ‘I like the fact that I’m empathetic. I like the fact that I’ve got a big heart. I like the fact that I am able to communicate on different levels. I like the fact that I think I’m funny’. Do you know what I mean? Just sit there, and create a list, whether you do five… Some people say ‘do it every morning’, I think that’s a bit much. But just giving thanks for something every morning in regards to yourself. Whether its your giving thanks for your body getting you out of bed and getting to work. Whether it’s giving thanks for having a nice sleep. Anything. But continuously give yourself praise, because the more you do that, the more you change your perception of yourself
People have spoken a lot about affirmations- I’m so glad you said the thing about every morning is too much. I struggle with that. I leave my house at 7am, when do I have time to write things down, unless i’m doing it at my desk with a million teenagers around me.
Writing it down does help, but even if you just write a note on your phone. It doesn’t need to be a particular time. At some point in that day… or, just catch yourself doing it. If you catch yourself looking at yourself and judging- because you’re going to look in the mirror at some point during the day. Or you’re going to have a thought about yourself at some point during the day, and it’s learning to catch that, and be like ‘hold up- let me give thanks for something’. Let me say it out loud. That’s the biggest thing. Remember at school- if you’d written an essay, the more times you’d say it out loud, the more sense it would make. It’s exactly the same thing. Affirmations aren’t magic, I’d say it’s more a case of the reprogramming side of things, and catching those thoughts and then learning to pause and say ‘let me inject some positivity for a second’.
I feel like this next question is going to be really interesting… Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Oooooh….. um…… I find it a really tricky one because i feel like there is so many different sub categories within that now. And again, I still feel like it’s a title. I feel like unfortunately, there are a lot of things we are having to fight for in this world, that shouldn’t be relevant. Feminism shouldn’t have to exist. Black Lives Matter shouldn’t have to exist. Pride shouldn’t have to exist. I understand why they all do and I support them and respect it, but at the same time its like ‘wow, we are really in this world?’
Like, that’s the state we are in.
Right. And sometimes i find it difficult as well because the more emphasis we put on it- are we continuing the segregation? But at the same time I know we have to put the pressure on it, and hype it up, because otherwise it doesn’t get heard and gets ignored. So it’s a really tough one to put your finger on and put yourself into it… so for me, I support equal rights, and I also believe that women are the most powerful, we are the ones who bring life.
Pum pum bring life.
Exactly. Without women, there is no man. So I think we need to give ourselves a little bit more respect. Realistically, the world will hopefully change as time goes on, but we can’t force everyone… educate people if they want to be educated, plant a couple of seeds, but we can’t force no one to do nothing. All we can do, is be the best person you can be, and be that role model for yourself. And that’s what I do in regards to everything, I hold myself accountable because you can’t do it for other people.
And you can’t hold anyone else accountable for yourself.
And that’s the thing, it’s all of us showing up, doing the best we can, being the best people that we can, and hopefully that will be what has the knock on effect in the next generation.
What is your favourite thing about being a woman?
I think sex. Because… when a woman is with someone that she can truly just open up to, its a game changer. It’s a different kind of relationship. For me, I had such bad connections and relationships with it in the past, it has been a full journey where I have seen both sides of things, and i think sexual empowerment for a woman when she knows who she is, when she can fully trust the other person- because I do think a lot of it does come down to trust. I mean, women go do your thing, men go do your thing too, but it’s different when it’s a way deeper connection.
It’s like ultimate freedom.
Yeah. It’s a form of expression.
And- it’s about finding the right person that you can have that freedom of expression with.
And bringing life, but I haven’t got there yet.
So I know that you did say advice is not cookie-cutter and whatnot, but do you think there are any first steps to acceptance and self love?
Yeah. I think the first step, is do a social media cleanse. I think that is the biggest damager of the subconscious, and can be the biggest empowerment at the same time. Again, with self love i feel a lot of the time it’s those jealous traits- we want the body that someone else has, or the relationship, or the looks, or whatever it is. If I go through my feed and get any kind of feelings towards anyone else, where I’m not happy for them, and I’m jealous or not happy or whatever, I’ll unfollow. I don’t care if you’re a friend. Because at the start of that journey when you are still trying to remove those jealous feelings, and switch them into something else, just remove them.
I guess that must be quite a vulnerable place as well, when you’re first making baby steps on that journey.
Yeah! Exactly. So it’s really recognising how different things make you feel. So when you are going through social media and there are people who aren’t making you feel inspired and happy… unfollow. Like, they’re not gonna miss you, and if it’s a friend you unfollow you just say look, I just needed to focus on some different things. We really need to start taking control of social media and let it empower us rather than control us, which is what happens a lot of the time. So I’d definitely say that’s a really powerful first step, and also following people who you’re inspired by. Because then, when you do find yourself scrolling- and we all do it- lets at least subconsciously absorb some good information. That is the key.
Do you have any advice for pulling yourself out of a dark moment, and learning lessons from these moments?
I think you’ve said it in one. In regards to pulling yourself out of the moment, you can’t rush those things. Sometimes its needed. But- it’s accepting those dark moments.
That can be really hard, though.
It can be really hard, but the thing is the more you try and get yourself out of it, if you’re not ready to get yourself out of it, you’re only gonna go further. You have to take your time with it. You have to feel those feels, recognise them, and also remind yourself that: I’m going through this, its dark, I’m not happy with it but I can’t change it. Even this year, I’ve had some shit. But it’s got to the point where I’m like, I can’t change it. Also, I don’t wanna put stress on my body! Stress is the biggest cause of illness- I don’t want to get sick! So let me just remove stress, because it does nothing for me. So here’s the fact: if something is making me feel upset or betrayed, it’s nothing to do with me, It’s just a scenario that happened. Let me wallow in this a little bit…for me personally, I give myself maybe one or two days, that’s normally my threshold for darkness, and I’ll go in my room, I listen to music, I paint. I do whatever it is that I know makes me feel more grounded. If I want to sleep, I’ll sleep. If I want to eat something bad, which I generally don’t but, I would, I’ll do that. And then you just wake up and it’s a new day. And you know you’re going to continue, you’re not going to stop. We have all been through darkness in the past, and there are people who are going through darker things, and there are people who aren’t going through darker things but feel like they are. We all have our own context of ‘how dark is dark?’ But we all get through it, once you recognise it.
So normally my final question would be ‘is there anything you have to plug’…so… is there anything you’d like to plug?
Ummmm… Can I plug people to use a hashtag?
Okay. #iloveme. That’s what I’m going to plug.
And what I actually wrote… can you leave us with some wise words?
Wise words… ok…. So, love, right? That’s the ultimate frequency that we all want to be operating on, because love is happiness, love is gratitude, love is all of those kind of things, right? So love = Living On Valued Energy. And I think that is so important to adhere to- recognising the different frequencies or different feelings, recognising how certain things make you feel, and choosing to do more of the things that make you feel love, and make you feel happy, and make you feel grateful. And giving less time to the things that don’t. Because we do have a choice, we are blessed enough that we have that choice. There is nothing in this world that we have to do. Even people that are like ‘I hate my job’- you can get another job. It might be difficult in the interim, but you can change things. You can always change things. And it’s about valuing your energy, valuing your space, pushing yourself up and holding yourself accountable.